A 32-year-old man earning between RM7,000 and RM12,000 a month has turned to the internet for relationship advice after finding himself torn between his current girlfriend and another woman he recently met.
In a post shared online, the man said his income fluctuates because he works in sales, while his monthly commitments, instalments and investments come to around RM3,500 to RM4,000.
He described his social circle as relatively small and said he usually went straight home after work. Before meeting his current girlfriend, he believed his income was enough to live a comfortable life.
The couple have been together for more than a year and have met each other’s families. He described his girlfriend as attractive and said he initially considered himself lucky to have won her over.
However, he said their relationship had gradually become more demanding than he expected.
One of the biggest sources of pressure was their differing levels of intimacy. He said his girlfriend had initially been more reserved, but over time became much more affectionate and frequently wanted to spend intimate time together.
While he initially enjoyed the attention, he said the constant expectations eventually became tiring, particularly after long days at work.
Their spending habits have also become a source of stress.
He estimated that meals, movies and dates could cost around RM300 each time, while additional shopping could push the bill to RM400 or RM500. With dates happening roughly twice a week, he estimated that their outings alone could cost around RM2,400 a month, excluding gifts, celebrations and special occasions.
He also said his girlfriend frequently bought snacks, bread and cakes, some of which were only partially eaten or left untouched.
“I used to love eating good food. Now sometimes when I see food, I think, ‘Why again?’” he wrote.
But he said the biggest strain was emotional rather than financial.
According to him, his girlfriend prefers phone calls to messaging and could become upset when he failed to answer. He described situations where he would call back to calm her down, only for her to deliberately hang up, leaving him calling repeatedly.
He also said she could become angry over relatively small matters and had made comments that affected his confidence, including suggesting that she could find a better partner.
He said he had tried discussing the issues with her, but conversations sometimes ended with her asking whether he no longer loved her or had begun to dislike her.
The pressure eventually led to their first period of silence after he told her he needed some time to calm down. They later reconciled, although he said he had not noticed much change in the relationship.
Things became more complicated when he recently met another woman.
He described her as quiet, gentle and much more financially conscious.
During one outing, she suggested having an economical meal and even pointed out that going after 8.30pm could be cheaper.
That small gesture reportedly made a strong impression on him.
He said the woman was comfortable with simple meals, did not shop excessively and seemed content with a low-key lifestyle.
However, he admitted that the attraction between them was different from what he experienced with his girlfriend.
He felt the new woman had a much lower need for intimacy and, at times, seemed more interested in keeping things brief.
That left him questioning what he actually wanted from a long-term relationship.
On one side, he has a relationship that he described as passionate, affectionate and full of excitement, but one that also comes with emotional and financial pressure.
On the other, he sees a woman who appears more financially responsible, independent and comfortable with a simpler lifestyle, but without the same level of chemistry he experiences with his girlfriend.
The dilemma has left him asking a question he said he could no longer answer himself: when it comes to a long-term relationship, do people ultimately want a partner who keeps the romance exciting, or someone whose presence makes everyday life feel easier?
“If it were you, who would you choose?” he asked netizens.
