A netizen recently opened up about her ongoing struggle with her controlling parents and how it has affected her marriage, sharing her story in an emotional confession to XUAN Radio.
She described growing up “like a flower in a greenhouse,” with freedom, choice, and personal space treated as luxuries. From where she went, what she did, to even minor purchases, everything had to be reported to her parents. Travel, dining out, and social interactions were heavily monitored, with some activities outright prohibited.
Even as an adult, she faced constant interference. At 30, when she traveled out of state for a friend’s wedding, her parents insisted on accompanying her. She recalled having to include her mother in trips with friends to avoid being labeled “unfilial,” despite wanting her own independence.
Her husband, she said, has been supportive and attentive throughout their relationship. From paying for dates to hosting her parents during visits, he consistently demonstrated care and responsibility. His family, warm and generous, even helped with wedding expenses, leaving her own parents’ contributions minimal and unacknowledged.
However, after marriage, tensions with her parents escalated. Her husband temporarily stayed at her parents’ home while looking for work, but they criticized him constantly for minor mistakes, from household chores to handling groceries. Their interference even extended to her own home: although she paid for her new house, her parents moved in, leaving her in the old home. Disagreements over living arrangements and financial responsibilities eventually forced her husband to rent a separate apartment, resulting in a long-distance start to their marriage.
The couple’s emotional and mental well-being has been severely affected. She admitted to frequent nightmares, crying, and difficulty concentrating at work. She expressed deep frustration over never having her own personal space growing up and feeling trapped in her adult life. Despite her sacrifices and efforts to build a life with her husband, her parents continue to criticize and pressure her, even spreading videos about “unfilial children.”
Netizens who read her confession responded with messages of support and advice:
- “The biggest problem comes from you not protecting yourself!”
- “You need the courage to break out of that cycle; no one can do it for you.”
- “Your husband has done so much for you. If your family behaves this way, just move out—your parents rely on you not standing up.”
- “You’re not being unfilial—you’re finally making decisions for your own life. Your husband isn’t the problem; your family has never allowed you independent happiness. Step out bravely; this is your life, don’t let them control it.”
The confession highlights the challenges faced by adults struggling with controlling family dynamics, particularly in balancing cultural expectations of filial piety with the pursuit of personal independence and marital harmony.
