A Malaysian woman has shared her heartbreak after claiming a close friend of 15 years indirectly shamed her on social media over the amount of money she gave as a wedding angpau.
In an anonymous online post, the woman said she and the bride had been best friends since Form One and had remained close for 15 years, supporting each other through life’s highs and lows. When her friend announced her wedding, she said she was genuinely delighted and made every effort to attend the celebration.
According to the woman, the wedding was held at a five-star hotel in Kuala Lumpur, with the groom reportedly coming from a wealthy family. She claimed each banquet table cost around RM3,000, while guests were welcomed by a live band at the venue. Wanting to look presentable for the special occasion, she also spent around RM200 on a new outfit, hair styling, make-up and e-hailing fares.
Despite her excitement, she admitted she struggled to decide how much to give as an angpau because of her financial commitments, which include a car loan, rental payments and supporting her mother. Although she was aware that many people considered RM250 to RM300 the current “market rate” for weddings at luxury hotels, she eventually decided to give RM150, believing a long-standing friendship should never be measured by money.
However, days after the wedding, she said she came across an Instagram Story posted by her friend that appeared to criticise guests who gave RM150 at a five-star hotel wedding. The post allegedly read that anyone who could not afford the expected amount should simply not attend, as it made things awkward for everyone else.
Suspecting the message was directed at her, the woman said she privately asked two mutual friends how much they had contributed. After learning they had given RM250 and RM300 respectively, she broke down in tears.
She explained that she was not upset over the amount itself, but by the thought that a friendship spanning 15 years could be judged based on the value of an angpau. She added that if her friend had been unhappy with her contribution, she wished the matter had been discussed privately instead of being hinted at publicly on social media.
The woman also questioned why guests should feel responsible for covering the costs of an extravagant wedding, saying the lavish celebration was ultimately the couple’s own decision. Following the incident, she unfollowed her friend on social media and claimed the bride never reached out to clarify the situation, leaving her wondering whether their friendship had ever been genuine.
The post has since sparked widespread debate online, with many netizens divided over whether wedding guests should follow an unwritten “market rate” for angpau gifts or simply give what they can comfortably afford.
