A frustrated Malaysian has penned an open letter about the toll his divorced sister’s behaviour is taking on their entire family. In the heartfelt post, he says he is baffled by some of her actions and feels emotionally drained trying to support her.
According to the writer, his sister and her ex-husband lacked financial planning and often spent money as soon as they had it, borrowing when they ran out. After the divorce, she returned to live with their parents, who also help care for her child. The arrangement was supposed to be temporary — their mother reminded her to move out once she had found work and stability, since the family home would eventually belong to their brother. Instead, the sister reportedly asked, “Why shouldn’t he move out? I’m the older one, I should stay,” a comment that left the family stunned.
The sibling also claims she spends much of the child support she receives on buying lottery tickets despite having debts and childcare costs. When their mother tried to advise her to cut back, she allegedly told outsiders that her mother “doesn’t understand her” and portrayed herself as independent — even though their parents shoulder much of her childcare and household chores.
Tensions with the ex-husband continue too. The sister often restricts his access to the child while demanding more support, while the ex says he wants to fulfil his parental role but cannot meet her financial demands. “Both refuse to compromise, and the one suffering is the child,” the writer noted.
Attempts to confront her behaviour have been met with dismissal. “You’ve never been married or had kids, you wouldn’t understand,” she reportedly told her sibling. He stresses, however, that the issue isn’t his marital status but how her actions are affecting everyone.
He was especially unsettled to see her posting online about whether she should remarry or have another child when, in his view, she has yet to stabilise her emotions or fully care for her first child. “She isn’t a bad person,” he wrote. “But her mindset is hard to grasp. She seems to live not for herself, but to prove she’s the most wronged, the most obedient, the most deserving of love.”
The writer wonders whether his sister genuinely lacks self-awareness or whether the family’s expectations are too high. On the surface she appears compliant, he says, but she often exerts strong control and feels wronged when challenged. “I’m not trying to attack her,” the letter concludes. “But as a family member, I’m truly exhausted.”
