Many men consider a long foreskin harmless if it doesn’t interfere with daily life, but one woman recently shared the challenges she faced after marrying her foreign boyfriend, only to discover he had phimosis. The couple’s post-marriage sexual life proved extremely difficult, and because he was unwilling to pursue treatment, they ultimately relied on sex toys to satisfy their needs. Her post quickly went viral, sparking debate online, with many netizens remarking, “If there’s love, you should try to find a solution!”
The woman, who shared her story on Dcard under the title “Didn’t Test the Car Before Marriage, Now I Regret It,” explained that she and her boyfriend had met only a few times in person and mainly maintained their relationship through video calls. They decided to marry quickly to avoid a long-distance relationship, and only after the wedding did they have sexual intercourse for the first time.
She discovered that her husband had phimosis, which made penetration painful or impossible without a condom and lubricant. Even then, the experience was uncomfortable and unsatisfying. She wrote, “No orgasm, and he would get tired shortly after starting. Maybe he can’t feel much through the foreskin and condom. Often we had to stop before finishing.”
As the sexual difficulties continued, the couple resorted to using sex toys to meet their needs. “He even bought a male masturbator for himself and preferred to use it rather than be intimate with me. I feel starved. I thought about affairs, but I also want to stay married!” she said. Though she suggested circumcision, he refused, claiming sexual activity caused him stress, and that masturbation was more fulfilling. She lamented, “It’s like he doesn’t really enjoy it.”
The post ignited heated discussion online. Many netizens highlighted the importance of sexual compatibility in marriage. Comments included: “Quick marriage can lead to a quick divorce. Sex is important—if you’ve tried communicating and he won’t change, the only one affected is you. Either endure a sexless marriage or leave; better to decide early than waste years,” and “Sex before marriage is important; if it’s unsatisfying, it’s a real issue.”
How phimosis can affect sexual activity:
- The glans cannot fully retract during erection
- Pain or tightness during erection
- Possible tearing or bleeding during intercourse
- Higher risk of inflammation
- Can cause premature ejaculation or difficulty maintaining an erection
What to do about phimosis:
- Mild phimosis: If the foreskin can partially retract, daily gentle stretching and warm water cleaning may help. Consulting a urologist for foreskin softening advice is recommended. Maintaining hygiene and preventing repeated infections is key; surgery may not be necessary.
- Moderate to severe phimosis: If the foreskin cannot retract or causes pain, especially if sexual function is affected or infections recur, a urologist should evaluate whether circumcision is appropriate.
