Happiness often feels just out of reach. You chase it with the latest job, a flashy car, or the perfect date—and for a moment, it hits. But soon enough, that high fades, and suddenly, the next thing seems essential. That’s the trap of “hedonic adaptation,” explains Laurie Santos, a psychology professor at Yale University. “We get used to the good stuff,” she says. “A raise feels amazing at first, but then it stops making you happy. That’s why happiness can feel so fleeting.”
Santos shared these insights during a webinar, Can You Train Your Mind to Be Happy?, hosted by the Happiness Studies Academy, co-founded by Harvard’s positive psychology expert Tal Ben-Shahar. She was inspired to explore happiness after seeing Yale students struggling with depression and thoughts of self-harm. Determined to help, she launched Psychology and the Good Life in 2018—the most popular course in Yale’s 300-year history. It now includes a podcast (Happiness Lab) and a Coursera course (The Science of Well-Being), which provides practical exercises—“rewirements”—like gratitude journaling, acts of kindness, mindfulness, and boosting social connections.
Santos emphasizes that happiness is partly genetic but largely shaped by our habits. Studies of identical twins show a heritability of around 30%, leaving plenty of room to influence our own well-being. The key mistake, she says, is assuming happiness comes from changing circumstances. Sure, basic needs like food and shelter matter, but once those are met, wealth, possessions, and status have far less effect than we think.
Instead, she encourages focusing on mindset and behavior: appreciating what we have, cultivating gratitude, connecting socially, and savoring daily moments. Even simple practices—like noting a child’s laughter or enjoying a morning coffee—can shift attention away from negativity and build long-term contentment.
These micro-moments, Santos explains, accumulate. Gratitude and small positive habits shape a happier mindset over time. While these practices don’t erase hardship, they help people endure and even grow during difficult times, a point Ben-Shahar underscores: happiness techniques work across wealth levels, and are often most vital when resources are scarce.
Social connections also play a crucial role. “Every happy person tends to be more social,” Santos notes, whether it’s deep relationships or casual interactions like chatting with a barista. She warns that gadgets often get in the way, creating barriers to real human connection.
For younger generations, particularly Gen Z, data matters more than platitudes. “Show them the evidence, and they’ll consider it,” Santos says. She stresses that happiness isn’t a one-time fix—it requires effort. But with consistent practice, the payoff is real: a life that feels richer, more connected, and genuinely happier.
