A woman has shared her frustrations online after a disagreement with her boyfriend over their shared studio apartment escalated into a major argument, with him packing some of his belongings and threatening to move out.
In a post shared on a Chinese online advice platform, the woman explained that she and her boyfriend lived together in a studio, although she occasionally returned to her family home. She spent most nights at the studio, where her boyfriend paid the rent and utilities, while she had covered most of the furniture costs.
The latest argument began when she initially planned to spend the night at home but later decided to return to the studio because she missed her cat.
However, her boyfriend was expecting a group of friends to visit for a housewarming gathering and some private conversations among the men. He did not want her to return that evening and reportedly asked, “Is it really that difficult for you to just not come back?”
The woman said she felt hurt by the remark, arguing that she also lived in the studio and had a right to return whenever she wanted.
She even suggested a compromise: she could have dinner at home first before returning at around 10pm. If his friends were still talking and needed more privacy, they could continue their conversation at a nearby mamak restaurant.
However, her boyfriend refused to accept the arrangement, and the disagreement escalated into a heated argument.
He eventually said he would look for another place to live. When the woman returned to her family home, she discovered that he had already packed some of his belongings and taken them away.
She questioned whether such an extreme reaction was necessary over what she considered a minor disagreement.
The woman added that she usually spent two days a week at her family home because her boyfriend often said he needed more personal time. She also pointed out that she worked in an office during the day, while his more flexible work arrangements allowed him to work from home and rest when he had no appointments.
She therefore struggled to understand why her returning to the studio in the evening made him feel that he had no personal space.
Computer dispute affected her job interview
The woman said the incident was not an isolated case, describing several previous disagreements that had left her feeling frustrated.
On one occasion, she needed to use a computer for a job interview. The computer had been purchased by her for her boyfriend, and she said they normally shared it when necessary.
However, he asked her to use an older computer instead, explaining that logging into her Gmail account on the newer device might synchronise her data and interfere with his files.
She eventually used the older computer but said its poor camera quality affected her interview.
She later insisted on using the computer she had bought, and her boyfriend eventually allowed her to do so. However, she was upset when he responded with a loud sigh, making her feel as though she was inconveniencing him simply by using the device.
Arguments over washing her hair
Another recurring source of conflict was her hair-washing routine.
The woman said she usually washed her hair every two days and would sometimes skip washing it if she had not sweated much or if her scalp was not particularly oily.
However, she claimed her boyfriend would not allow her to sleep in their bed if she had not washed her hair that day.
When they lived in their previous home, the disagreement reportedly became so severe that she sometimes had to sleep on a small bed on the floor.
She said she had already told him that she could not continue living that way indefinitely.
After moving into the studio, where there was only one bed, the couple argued about the issue again. Their eventual compromise was for her to use dry shampoo on days when she did not wash her hair before getting into bed.
Despite the arrangement, she said she felt frustrated that a personal hygiene preference had become such a recurring source of conflict.
Boyfriend reportedly calls foreplay a ‘SOP’
The woman also described difficulties in their intimate relationship, saying she needed sufficient foreplay to feel comfortable and avoid vaginal dryness and pain during sex.
She claimed she had communicated her needs to her boyfriend several times, both directly and indirectly, but he preferred to move quickly towards intercourse.
According to her, he complained that she had too many “SOPs” — standard operating procedures — because she required foreplay and other steps before sex, which he found tiring.
The woman questioned why accommodating each other’s needs had become such an issue, arguing that intimacy should involve mutual consideration and comfort.
Past arguments continue to affect her
The woman said the latest disagreement also brought back memories of more serious conflicts earlier in their relationship.
She admitted that she previously struggled with her temper and sometimes threw objects when emotionally overwhelmed. She added that her boyfriend would also shout when he lost control of his emotions.
During past arguments, she claimed he had sometimes ordered her out of the house and even changed the locks on one occasion.
She said their relationship had since become more stable, with both of them making improvements and fewer severe arguments taking place. Her boyfriend had also acknowledged that she had changed for the better.
Because of this progress, she believed they had reached a healthier stage in their relationship.
However, his decision to pack his belongings and threaten to move out over the studio dispute left her feeling that the same pattern was returning.
She said she was not trying to prevent him from spending time with his friends or having personal space. She simply wanted to be able to return to a home where she also lived.
The woman ended her post by questioning whether they were genuinely resolving their disagreements or repeatedly falling into the same pattern of conflict.
