A Malaysian woman recently wrote to Xuan to share her struggles, saying she feels completely torn between family pressures, finances, and her dream of having her own space.
According to her, life with her husband’s family has been far from easy. She described herself as someone who values cleanliness and order, but her father-in-law, mother-in-law and brother-in-law often cook heavily at home, leaving the whole place filled with smoke and grease. “Every weekend I clean until it’s spotless, but once they’re back, the smell and mess are everywhere again — and I’m the one who ends up cleaning it,” she wrote.
She added that her in-laws speak loudly, act casually and don’t tidy up after themselves, which makes her worry that her child will pick up these “rough habits.” Wanting a healthier environment, she urged her husband to buy a new home. At first, he was reluctant, preferring the “comfort zone” of living with his parents without having to pay for utilities.
After much persuasion, the couple finally paid the down payment with their EPF savings and got a housing loan approved. But just as things were looking up, she was unexpectedly laid off from her job. Although she has since found new work, her salary is lower, and now the couple must fork out at least RM2,500 monthly for the mortgage plus RM200 in maintenance fees, on top of their child’s school expenses. Their combined salaries just barely cover the essentials, leaving nothing for savings.
Because of this, she says they have no choice but to rent out the new house for now. Still, she remains anxious — worried that if her father-in-law hands over the family business to her brother-in-law in a few years, the parents will expect financial support from them, making their burden even heavier. At the same time, she fears that friends will find out she can’t actually afford to live in the house she proudly announced she had bought.
“I really don’t know what to do anymore,” she admitted. “Should I rent it out to ease cash flow, or should I move in for stability? My husband isn’t much help, and honestly, I regret making such a rushed decision.”
Her story immediately sparked heated debate online. Some netizens sympathized, while others had harsh words for her:
- “Have you ever thought about it? That cooking you complain about is actually helping pay part of your living expenses.”
- “What does your higher education have to do with this problem? Don’t act like you’re above everyone just because you studied more — at the end of the day you’re still relying on your in-laws to cover water and electricity.”
- “You knew your husband doesn’t earn much, yet you insisted on buying a house. Now you’re regretting it?”
- “Just rent out the house for now to ease cash flow. And honestly, when you married into a family that runs a cooking business, you should have expected oil and smoke.”
While some netizens encouraged her to stay practical and focus on financial stability first, others criticized her attitude, saying she should appreciate the in-laws’ contributions rather than looking down on them.
