Even small habits can affect a marriage, and experts warn that one common behaviour—‘phubbing’—could be quietly harming your relationship. Phubbing, a combination of ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing,’ occurs when someone ignores the person they’re with to focus on their phone.
According to a recent study, this habit can make partners feel undervalued over time. “It might seem trivial, but these small moments add up, creating a sense that your partner’s attention is elsewhere,” said Dr. Claire Hart from the University of Southampton. People with emotional insecurities are particularly sensitive to phubbing.
The study involved 196 adults in relationships, who kept a 10-day diary recording when they were phubbed, their reactions, and any retaliation. Results showed that individuals with high attachment anxiety experienced stronger negative effects, including low self-esteem, depressed mood, and increased resentment. These individuals were also more likely to confront their partner or seek validation from others about the behaviour, which can trigger cycles of conflict.
On the other hand, people with high attachment avoidance—those uncomfortable with closeness—were less affected and less likely to confront their partner.
Experts stress that being present matters. Simple steps like creating phone-free zones during meals or before bed, openly discussing phone boundaries, or acknowledging brief interruptions can help maintain connection. “Put down your phone to pick up your relationship,” Dr. Hart advises.
The study was published in the Journal of Personality.
